Where am I?

I can’t decide if today is going fast or not! It is now 2PM and I have now swallowed my 6th Excedrin of the day. I have a terrible headache and nothing I do will make it go away. I went to lunch. I put on my glasses. I took off my glasses. I drank an extra cup of coffee. I bummed a cigarette off my coworker. I turned music on as loud as I could without getting in trouble. I stood outside with out a coat on for almost 5 minutes. I turned my little desk heater on all the way until I almost passed out from heat stroke. I even ate a chocolate turnover. NOTHING IS WORKING.

The Friday Fever has hit me with a vengeance today. I have been working on marketing and advertising ideas all day and I frequently find myself starring at the pipe screen saver on my laptop. To give you an idea of just how bad my concentration is today, it is now 320 PM and I have only written a few sentences since I started at 2. And the worst part is, I can’t remember what I was doing in the meantime!

You know that Shania Twain song that says something like “this job’s a pain, it’s so mundane, it sure don’t stimulate my brain!” I think it was written as a prophecy for me in pretense to this job. From the start is has been under –stimulating and boring but I have enjoyed it up until the past couple of months. I know I said that I wasn’t going to bitch and complain as bad as I used to anymore, but I just can’t help it. I told a friend of mine that I am just so bored with everything in my life. I don’t know what is going on with me lately. It’s not that I am unhappy, I just feel empty, unsatisfied.

Probably nothing more than the winter blues, but whatever it is I wish it would go away! I can’t remember a winter when I was so anxious for warmer temperatures and the chance to just get outside. I can hardly wait to throw open the windows to my bedroom and lay in bed longer than I should on a Saturday morning letting the cool spring breeze blow in. I can’t wait to have plants out in the yard that I can spend Saturdays taking care of. I can’t wait to take Peanut and the new dog for a walk, or just to walk myself to the library.

I have never felt a stronger urge to just pack my car full of the essentials and a bag of dog food and just drive away. I am too chicken of course to do anything so irrational as that, but the thought appeals to me more and more everyday. I wonder what Jake would say to taking a “sabbatical” from work and just putting our lives here on hiatus so we can just go away from everyone and everything. I have gone so far as to have places picked out that I would go, and I have thought seriously about the things that I would take with me and the things I would leave behind.

I can remember Jeremy Sassanella telling me once during my second year of college that the next few years would be the best of my life. I was skeptical of him then, but now I think he was NUTS! While some of the times were great and probably the best of my life, (the period of time just before I left school and for a couple of years after that while I was working at Gander Mountain come to mind…), I can’t wait to just grow the fuck up! I have always know who I was and what I anted in life until now. Whoever said that puberty was the most confusing time in a young girls life was smoking CRACK!!!

Oh, listen to me just go on! I am thinking that this Friday afternoon funk can be cured pretty easily with a 5 o’clock whistle and a couple of beers once I get home. I have a very uneventful weekend planned that involves little more than scrapbooking, laundry, and working out (Jake FINALLY got my Bowflex put back together!). The most exciting thing we are doing is taking our new puppy out to Jake’s parents house to meet Biscuit, Peanut’s SuperBeast brother!