Tripping with Toonses

I have a memory
that leaves me in a
flashback
of giggles
everytime I think about hoy mama said,
"Don't eat paper,"
but I did
and had the time of my life.

I have a memory of
being chauffered by Toonses the cat
Held back by imaginary barriers
Cannot, do not, go past 224.
The desire to try to escape
We must go somewhere, but we cannot go anywhere
Everywhere we go there is someone;
Stay away from us!
Surrendering to remain locked in one place.
I will not love this car tomorrow.

I have a memory of
things that I thought I needed
things that would make me happy
Cigarettes, candy, alochol
Can you hear me?
Things I had aquired, but lost
I bought a house for 10 cents that I will never find again.
Things that I wanted, but was denied
Affection, acceptance

I have a memory of
trying to reach out, to find a kindered spirit,
Someone who should accept.
We can't go there, he would not understand,
he would stand in judgement,
he would not play this game!
Realizing I put forth only half-assed effort
As long as you move, it's okay if other things do too.
And avoided those who offered help
In town are cops
Are enemies
I will not fight unarmed in their territory:
Take no prisoners!!

Relied on myself
Neighbors stay away-
we're nuts.
We need nothing...nothing.
And inaminate objects that could not hurt me
Lights are our friends and enemies
I never knew I had so many tears!
Chuckle, chuckle.

I have a memory
that I keep for today
Written on old Hershey Chocolate bar wrappers
that only cost 59 cents.
It makes me giggle,
it makes me sad
I am in a shell
numb, numb
Always have a cigarette and no lighter
(...isin't it ironic...)
Toones the Driving Cat.
Lights- green and red make purple
Bricks are so tiny.
Don't look at yourself, you look like hell.
You will not make me do it
Don't call a soul!

Mama was right, you shouldn't eat paper.
The hurt cannot be digested.