Anybody remember that satirical county song by Deana Carter about the woman who's in a worthless relationship and a dead-end career who has recently realized that her life is not at all what she expected it to be? It's one of those songs that you hear and usually joke about, like "Hey, this is so close to my life but off just enough to be depressing and funny at the same time."Well, I would be lying if I said that my life was anywhere near that close to the song, but sometimes I sure feel like it!
Our corporate office sent an investigator to talk to everyone about the complaint that I filed. As it turns out, the owners dad is a retired detective. Going into my interview I was really nervous, but I stopped myself from feeling that way. I am not in the wrong here and I have nothing to loose. So for over an hour I rehashed everything inappropriate that has happened since I started this job. He recorded everything, which is not a bad thing. I did feel as if he was making judgements against me. He told me that he was the impartial third party that was there only to ask questions and to get the facts from everyone and that his questions are very pointed and blunt. Even though he told me that, I couldn't help but feel as if he were using the fact that I am a sensitive person against me. (I didn't cry the whole time; I only cried when I told him about my boss threatening to drown my dog. I was very proud of myself!) You know how you see those bull shit cop shows on tv...the ones where the detectives think they know who the criminal is so they badger that one person until they can't take the pressure so they confess, even though they were innocent? That was how I felt. But, there is nothing more I can do about it at this time, it is in corporate's hands to make the decision.
After dealing with all of that in the morning, I was beat. I needed to talk to someone who is friendly and has a habit of making you feel good when you are bummed. So, I drove outside of town to a local warehouse that I used to work at to visit an old friend. As we stood outside smoking way to many cigarettes I told him what had been going on and the events of the past couple of days. We talked for awhile untile the gas truck pulled up, (The man that drives that truck is a prevert...every Friday he would come into my office for me to sign his invoice and he would make all sorts of rude comments to me when I worked there.) He pulls up next to where Dean and I are standing and lets out his air brakes, which causes a burst of air that blows up my skirt. I was mortified! But I am sure you can imagine what the gas man had to say about that. I said goodbye to Dean and got in my car and drove away.
Why do men think that it's okay to talk to women like this?
I'm pretty mouthy and I usually let people know when they are overstepping boundries, but I usually let comments like this just roll off my back. I have heard them for so long that I guess I was just used to it, and it never seemed to bother me until just now. The other people I was hearing things from was truck drivers, gun slingers and hillbillies...so you are not suprised to hear comments like that coming from them. Since dealing with the problems here at my current place of employment I have become uber-sensitive about these things. I have become a dfferent person who is skeptical about everyone I meet now; I was never a guarded person before and I don't like being one now! I resent my boss for making me feel this way towards others.It's not just strangers that I feel this way about either. The way I act towards people I care about has changed too, even though I knew their personality before all of this happened. It bothers me the most with Jake, and I know it bothers him too. I know there is a possibility that I could lose my job over this whole ordeal; Then so be it! I will proudly be a martyr for this cause! I feel better at the end of everyday knowing that I took a stand for what is right and I am a changed girl because of it, in both good and bad ways.
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