Spring Cleaning

I have been in quite the spring cleaning mode lately. I think it’s the nice weather that has been inspiring me to kick some ass and get things done on our house, (too bad the contractor doesn’t have the same fire lit under him!). The past few weekends Jake and I have done nothing but work out in the yard or purge the closets and boxes full of shit that we have not used since we moved into the house. We now have a healthy stack of boxes full of stuff for a garage sale. I am starting to think thought that a garage sale might be too awesome of a feat for me to embark on this spring/summer. It would probably be easier for us to open our own Goodwill store out of our garage.

The extent of our spring cleaning has not just been restricted to boxes on unused junk and forgotten about clothes though. Our spring cleaning and OCD habits of organization have spilled over into more personal and social aspects of our lives. I think our attitudes have even rubbed off onto a few of our friends given some of their recent decisions too.

Divorce is a pretty big and heavy word. Unfortunately it is all over the place, but I have been lucky enough that that I have never had to deal with it in my life. What I mean is that no divorce has directly affected me. You know how there’s a saying about how deaths come in sets of three? Well, I think the same is true for divorce.

The pastor of the church that I have attended for years has just announced that he and his wife are divorcing. I don’t know an exact number, but they have been married for over 30 years. Not many people are actually shocked to hear this news, but some of the details/gossip that I have heard is pretty unbelievable. Divorce is a bad thing no matter how you look at it. It can affect so many people in such terrible ways, but I think it is even more devastating coming from a person in a position such as “pastor of a church”. A pastor is just human just like the rest of us, but because of what he does he is heald at such different standards, more is expected of him. Better is expected, and demanded of him. Not only does it affect his family, but it affects the congregation that also serves as an extended family.

One of my nearest and dearest friends is also going through a divorce. This girl’s marriage has been in trouble since before she even met the guy, but regardless of that, it still hurts and it’s still a terrible thing. They have been the stereotypical vengeful couple about everything too. It makes me sick to think of they way that they are treating one another, and it makes me wonder if either of them are even worth being friends with.

Another friend of ours, actually we are good friends with both of them, are going through a separation. Once again, this is a sickening situation because not only are they hurting one another, but they have kids. The details that I have heard about their situation are pretty graphic, and they make me blush just to think about them even now. He is actually crashing with us right now, and every other night so is his 5 year old daughter. Everyone knows that I am not a big fan of kids, but I have found myself falling in love with this little girl. It breaks my heart to see what her parents are doing to her, obliviously because they are too busy trying to hurt one another.

So back to me again…

I have “cleaned” out some “friendships” as well. To be perfectly honest, I thought that I would feel terrible after emailing a rather mean-spirited email to someone that I had once considered to be a good friend. In my opinion, she crossed that friendship barrier WAY too many times for me to just simply forget about anything anymore. I did what I considered to be best for myself, I used my blog as a outlet, like I have so many times before. After incessantly bitching about the situation, I did feel better. Unitl a couple of days later when I got an email from her. All of those ill feelings came rushing back up. I did nothing but bitch to Jake and my mom about it for DAYS. In her email she had told me that she was willing to “patch things up” and she “was leaving the ball in my court”. I wrote an email, a rather long email, and I didn’t hold anything back. Why should I keep worrying about her feeling and start taking care of mine? I wrote the email and left in it my saved drafts folder for days. I read and re-read it dozens of times; I was hesitating once again because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Well, finally I came to my senses and thought fuck it, and I sent it.

I feel lighter and happier having done that, *pats self on back*. And I would be lying if I said it didn’t bring a smile to my face when I think about how that probably hurt her in one way or another.

I just really hate lying bitches that live in their own distorted versions of reality. Won’t it be grand when this little thing I like to call REAL LIFE sets in and they find out the hard truth of things? In the words of Staci Bowers, a girl that I knew in high school, “Walk a mile, bitches. Try on a pair of my shoes and walk a mile, and then we’ll talk.”

Another of my friends that I have decided to have nothing to do with, I have already mentioned. Remember the story about the couple that recently separated that has the little girl that has the little girl that has been staying with us? Well, the female in question has been a good friend of mine for quite some time. There are always 2 sides to every story, and for a few days the only side to their story I got was his. Last night I finally worked up the nerve to call her and find out what really happened. Not that I didn’t believe him, but you know how girls are! After hearing the sordid tale, in more detail that I could have ever wished for in a late-night Jenna Jameson special, I determined that she’s just not the type of person that I am comfortable calling a “friend”. I am sorry, but I have always maintained that I am not the type of girl that is a cheating whore, therefore I am not going to take the chance of people getting the worng idea about me based on who I am hanging out with. I am not the type of person to give a danm about other people’s perceptions of me, but I am not going to risk having my character damaged in any way by someone that can’t keep her married legs closed. Just my opinion though.

I think Jake is about ready to do some spring cleaning of his own friends as well. I don’t know any details on this situation really. Jake is the type of person that yells and mumbles and makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WHATSOEVER when he’s pissed off. Hopefully he’ll cald down at least enough to explain what he’s so mad at this guy that has been a friend of his for a long time. I know bits and pieces, and let me tell you, just the notion that this guy probably did what Jake has accused him of doing, disgusts me.

I gotta tell ya, I am feeling better and better about EVERYTHING in my life these past few weeks since I have exorcised the bad and negative influences that I have had in my life. LORD knows that I have put up with some of them for way too long as it is. Now if we could just get this problem with the contractor taken care of…