My cousin emailed this to me this afternoon and it brought quite a smile to my face!
WHY GOD MADE MOMS
All answers given by second grade school children.
Why did GOD make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean house.
3. To help us out of there when we're getting born.
How did GOD make mothers?
1. He used dirt just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. GOD made Mom just the same like he made me, he just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. GOD made mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everythign nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly used string I think.
Why did GOD give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. GOD knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
1. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spagetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got to old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom dind't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only becasue she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home. Dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scarring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because that's who you get to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Mom's have magic. They make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it tak to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet maybe blue.
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