Kids say the darndest things!

My cousin emailed this to me this afternoon and it brought quite a smile to my face!

WHY GOD MADE MOMS
All answers given by second grade school children.

Why did GOD make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean house.
3. To help us out of there when we're getting born.

How did GOD make mothers?
1. He used dirt just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. GOD made Mom just the same like he made me, he just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. GOD made mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everythign nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly used string I think.

Why did GOD give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. GOD knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
1. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spagetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got to old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom dind't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only becasue she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home. Dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scarring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because that's who you get to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Mom's have magic. They make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it tak to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet maybe blue.

GRR!!!

How come I cam look at all of these other blogs and think they look so cute, but when I try to do something cute and funky with my own it turns out looking stupid? And how come what you see in the create window is not what the post actually looks like on the blog?

That gets frustrating!!

Sister Myotis on "Thong Panties"

My Aunt Rosemary, who is the funniest person I know, emailed me about this!

The above picture on the left is of the woman who recently gave birth to octuplets in California. The picture on the right is obviously of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I read yesterday that the now mother of 14 has been accused of trying to be Angelina. Of course she denies it, but just look at the two pictures! The hair, the white dress/gown thing, the lips...but she looks a little more like Alanis Morisette than Angelina!

Now here's what I don't understand...

Times are tough all over and this woman already has 6 children. She started going to a fertility clinic because she wanted to have more children so the doctors there fertilized 8 eggs (bear with me here, I am not good with the correct terms for all of this). Typically not all of them would actually become embryos, but in this case they all did. So her defense of saying that she did not intentionally get pregnant with 8 babies could be true.
I read today that her house payment has not been made since last April.
So what I am having trouble understanding is how this woman was paying for her fertility treatments. If she is unemployed and living on government assistance, supporting 6 children, and can't pay her house payment...???
And what doctor in their right mind would allow this? I mean, isn't there some sort of requirements for mental health testing or something, or credit checks...I don't know!
So we read daily about how the government wants to put restrictions on us making us wear seat belts and what kind of guns we can own and how we can't smoke in bars or buy any alcohol on Sundays...whatever, but then we turn the page of the newspaper and read about a woman who can live on government assistance AND be allowed fertility treatments and have 14 kids...

And people wonder why I say I don't want any kids of my own. Take a look around. I can't afford to have my own because my tax dollars are going to pay for cases like this, although not usually to this extreme.

Having some fun...

Just a little something about Indiana weather...

It's wintertime in Indiana
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love Indiana
When the snow's up to your butt.
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave Indiana
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!

Anyone out there reading this that is NOT familiar with the weather in the Hoosier state, this is a *perfect* parody of what it's truly like. I have lived in this state all my life, and it's always been the same. With the exception of moving from a central-southern location to the north east corner where we get way more wind and lake effects.

On Saturday and Sunday I was outside in a hooded sweatshirt and temps capped at around 44. Today it is snowing and the weatherman said we would be lucky to hit 20! Indiana's weather needs some medication for bi-polar disorder I think! ;)