Why on Earth? (Or rather, "Why in Eden?")

AS I sit in my office listening to my boss chat and laugh and share funny emails with M, my friendly coworker and arch-nemesis in my quest for attention and acceptance, I have to wonder: Eve, why on Earth did you eat that piece of fruit?!?

I am so sick and tired of second guessing every decision I ever make, of changing clothes 10 times, of constantly wondering if everyone at my new job likes me as much as M. I can't stand to spend another minute wondering if Jake and I's relationship is strong enough to make it through another move and the stress that our new jobs and new house is putting on us.

Now I know that I am not the only girl that feels this way. 9-1/2 out of every 10 females feels this way multiple times daily. The remaining half are those weird butch girls that wish they were really boys, (and even though they don't admit it, I am sure they feel this way now and then).

Let me clear something up by saying that I like M. She is friendly, smart, and competent. We get along well but I can't seem to shake the feeling that everyone likes her better than me. (I know I sound completely crazy!) I have always been the popular one, the one that everyone comes to when they have a question or a funny joke to tell. I have always the one whose desk the guys linger at just a little too long.

I like my new job, for the most part. Everyone I work with is really nice, the work is easy (too easy perhaps since I seem to be filling my head with nonsense worries!). I just can't shake the feeling that my boss doesn't like me.

When I was hired the HR told me that the interviewees had been narrowed down to two candidates, M and myself. Since HR and Boss couldn't decide which one to hire, Big Boss stepped in and told him to just hire both of us. Something tells me that HR was the one who wanted to hire me, and Boss wanted M. I hate knowing the situation that caused the both of us to be hired at the same time.


I am scolding myself for making something out of nothing over this whole mess. I can't help but wonder if I am extra moody due to my cycle. That's what made me think: "Damn it Eve!! That fruit could not have looked that good, and a damn snake could not have been that convincing - not even if snakes were beautiful and had legs back then!"

If things were done differently and she never would have tasted that fruit, God would not have caused the female race to have pain during child birth I would assume. So I have to wonder, would we then not have been cursed with periods, cramps, an overly analytical mind, vaginas that rip open while trying to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out a hole the size of a lima bean...

Just food for thought. You all know how my mind wonders.