2009 - GO AWAY!

I am typically excited when it's time for a new year. I jump on the wagon with a slew of resolutions and promises to myself about different things. And like just about everyone else I jump off that wagon a few weeks later, (usually for me I am diving into a bottle of gin and a bag of chips since those seem to be the two things I attempt to stay away from with every new year ;p). This year I made no resolutions, except to save a little more money, which actually had nothing to do with the new year, and just decided to be optimistic about the coming year.

I had a pretty crappy last part of 2008. Sure there were plenty of good things, and plenty to be happy about, but all the good and happy things had this black rain cloud hanging over them like the little blue Care Bear. I got sick and tired of being in bad moods and being depressed, so I vowed to start new for 2009 and make it good despite whatever was going on in my life and the world. (And by world, I mean the inauguration of Barack Obama as our 44th President. I already knew I was probably going to be in a bad mood that day.)

Well, the first month of 2009 will be over in about 36 hours. And just about all of it has SUCKED. Now let me first say that I am not blogging about this to whine or complain. I decided that I was going to start blogging again and the crappy things that have been happening have really been weighing me down lately and I hope blogging about it may make me feel a little better. But, now that I am actually blogging I don't feel like getting into all that crap!

Here goes...

My sister and I were leaving Target one night when I felt a crumbling sensation in my mouth. It was my tooth. The one I had just finished paying off an $1100 bill to the dentist for a root canal. Just as I was grabbing my cell phone to call Jake and tell him, Jake called me. He wanted to tell me that our water heater had just died. Some pipe fitting corroded and burst and there was torrents of water shooting out of the hole and flooding the back room of the basement.

Missy ran away. The tie-out is old and in need of replacing, but I figured it could wait until spring since when I put the dogs out there I stand there and watch them so I can get them right back in after they are finished. Apparently Jake doesn't keep an eye on them, or her rather since it was just Missy he had outside. He put her outside and an hour later got a phone call from a lady 3 streets north of us that our Beagle named Missy was sitting on her back porch with her dogs. Thankfully we got her back. That should have been a clue to me that I needed to get a new tie-out, but I still decided to put it off. Until last night when Jake called me as I was getting back into Dekalb County to let me know that Peanut's life was just saved by Wetzel-the-world's-most-wonderful-neighbor. This time it was Peanut that got put out on the faulty tie-out and he was wandering around the parking lot next to our house. I guess Wetzel, who's a big guy that drives an even bigger truck, pulled in and almost ran him over because he's small enough that he can't even see him from the cab of the truck. He told me his wife was home and he stopped before pulling up as far as usual just in case their dog was out and there was Peanut chewing on a dead bird and having nothing to do with moving out of the way. I went and bought a new tie-out last night. Thankfully both of my beloved dogs are in my possession and alive.

Our furnace took a crap too. Last week we had Larry Spade of Spade Heating and Plumbing tinkering in our basement 3 different times in a 5-hour time span. This week I forgot to pay the electric bill on time and it was disconnected. I am notorious for writing out the check for that bill and carrying it around in my purse for weeks until I get a disconnect notice before paying it. That is the only bill that we can't pay online, and you have to take it uptown and drop it off at the main office, so it's more of a pain in the winter. When it's warmer out I have no problem getting library books returned on time, getting to the post office, or paying my utility bill before the pink disconnect notice gets mailed out because I am out walking with the dogs anyway. I was so embarrassed because I have never actually had it turned off. Jake was furious. I told him that it can be his responsibility to take it uptown from now on. He stopped bitching at me then. I think it will still be up to me to get it there.

Jake was laid off. I hate my job and blame my constant bad mood on that. We had plans of getting married this winter that we decided against for reasons I am still not clear of. I can't figure out what two people who have been together for 5 years can possibly be so freaked out by marriage over, but as long as we are happy so what I guess. I take that back, we are not really that happy. And we won't be until people stop asking us when we are getting married. I swear the next person who asks I am going to act like I am going to whisper it in their ear and then just scream really loud into it!

Jon Sassanella has moved in with us. At least I think the plan is for him to move in with us. He doesn't really talk to me much, but he and Jake have pow-wows and from what I have been told from Jake and my brother both, that is the direction we are moving in. That's not really a crappy thing. I guess it is a little weird, and I do get sick of video games and music going all the time when I am so used to a quiet house, but it has been fun. And interesting.

Jake and I went to Jeannie and Justin's last week to visit and catch up and to play with Summer the world's cutest baby. It was the first time that Jake had ever seen her other than in pictures. From the first time I saw her I was hooked on her. I was so happy for Jeannie, and that's what made Summer more special than any other baby, but the more times I was around her the more I just wanted to take her home with me! I told Jeannie, Jake, my mom, and my sister time and time again that I would have kids if I could get some kind of written guarantee that it was going to be just like Summer. Well, now that Jake has met her he has jumped on the baby wagon. Only Jake isn't just saying he wants to take Summer home, he is saying he wants kids of his own. Oh boy! We can't even stick to plans to get married...and now he wants to have kids!?! I am still not sure what I think about that one! I think I am perfectly content with the way things are. And my offer to Jeannie about how she can give Summer to me once she's decided she's tired of her still stands.

One more quick thing I wanted to add. Last night I was sitting in the bathtub trying my hardest not to break down and cry because I am so stressed out because if everything that is going on and about my lia sophia business sucking ass, and everything else. Jake came in and I was spilling my guts to him and I said "This is an abomination!" He said, "Oh babe, it's worse than an abomination. It's an Obamanation." Way to make me feel better there! If 2009 is not going to ge tany better, I wish it would just GO AWAY!

President Calls The People of Washington DC "Wimps"

As you are all aware, I am not a supporter or a fan of President Obama. However, I heard him say something yesterday that had even me giggling about. I was on my way home from work listening to Pat White on WOWO and he played this sound clip of Obama. It went something like this:

"I am sorry, but I am going to have to interrupt myself for just a moment. My daughters' school was cancelled today. Apparently Washinton DC experienced an "ice storm" and felt it necessary to close all schools and some businesses. An "ice storm"? Come on people. I am from Chicago. The people of the Midwest know that this is nothing! My 7-year-old even pointed out that in Chicago they would have went outside for recess still in this weather! If they really think this is bad, the people of Washington are wimps!"

Amen. *Chuckle*

More Funny Emails

I have decided that I think I have a problem. For some reason when I read an email that I find funny I save it in my archive folder of my email and when I get bored at work I blog it. I seem to think that anyone reading this blog gives a damn to see forwarded emails that they have probably received themselves, and I think that I need to save the ones that make me chuckle because someday I just might need to read them again. Whatever. I am a dork, and I need to stop wasting blog space with the emails. I need to get back to blogging for real...but I just have not felt like it! But that's another post...
And for now...I share with you some forwarded funnies...

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive!
6. Earth is the insane asylum for the Universe.
7. I am starting to wonder how bad 4 years with no president would be...
8. God must love stupid people, he made so many!
9. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
10. Consciousness: that annoying thing between naps.
11. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
12. Men are always whining about how we're suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow!
13. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
14. Ever notice how people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place...

Healthy Insanity (There were quite a few of these, but I am only posting the ones I have done since reading the email.)
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
3. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
4. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
5. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
6. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
7. Five days in advance, tell your friend you can't attend their party because you are not in the mood.
8. When the money comes out of the ATM, start screaming, "I won! I won!"
**(And I didn't actually do this because I don't have any kids, but it's hilarious...) Tell your children over dinner that due to the economy you are going to have to let one of them go.

Some Really Funny Funnies!

This kinda describes any given day of my week, minus the Prozac.

Look, it's Missy!

Here's one cake I certainly wot's be sampling.

I got a birdbath for Christmas....I wonder if this would work...

Weather Woes!

Good morning from Auburn, Indiana! It’s a blistery -19 outside today, before the wind chill factor! Schools all throughout 6 counties are closed, (I only know of the 6 counties surrounding me), due to kids having to stand outside at bus stops and the threat of their skin freezing and frostbite. But we have been forecasted a heat wave for tomorrow, it is supposed to be 21 degrees. But that’s the nature of living in Indiana.

To be truthful, I love cold weather. I look forward to winter and all of its glory, (snow and ice included). I even dream of 30 degree temps when I am working out in the yard in May and I start to break the tiniest of a sweat. I LOATHE warm weather. However…this is too freaking cold for me!!

I have always said that I would drop everything and move to the U.P. or Minnesota. I still would. The difference between living in Minnesota and having -20 temperatures and living in Indiana with -20 temperatures is that it’s the norm in Minnesota!! Once winter rolls in up there you know what to expect, and you are prepared for it. In Indiana however, you have no idea what the next day will bring. Give it two weeks and we will have torrents of rain coming down and flash flood warnings bleeping across the bottom of the TV screens.

This morning I woke up to see that frost had formed on the bedroom windows, (and there was nothing steamy going on inside to help cause that, trust me!), and clouds of bad breath steaming up the bathroom mirror. First thing I do is bundle myself up to take the dogs outside. We have the heat turned off to the back of the house, so you have to be dressed like Nanook of the North just to let the dogs out. It takes me about 7 minutes to get Peanut ready to go out. He is so low to the ground and he refuses to walk out there when it gets this cold that I have a little fleece blanket-coat-type-thing my grandma made for him that I wrap him in, and he has fleece and neoprene booties. There are probably people out there laughing and making fun of me for the way I bundle up my little wiener dog, but I don’t care! It is sad to see this little dog crying because he’s outside and it’s so cold. Once he gets all his “gear” on and gets out there he plays like its 70 degrees out! The puppy on the other hand is a different story. There is no putting clothes on her! I think she would eat them if I did get them on her, and she beats me up when I try to put them on her! She has never shown any problems with cold weather though.

This morning was a completely different story. When it’s cold I don’t even put Peanut on his tie-out. He runs as far as the walk is shoveled, pees, turns a few circles, poops, and runs back in. I opened the door enough to let him through and grabbed Missy’s tie-out hook. She got one feel of that frigid air coming though the crack in the door and turned right back around and ran back into the main house and crawled right back into her bed! Our friend Jon has been staying with us and he was up and saw the whole fiasco! He got her to the door in the laundry room where they stay at night and I went back up to get her and she was trying to get away from me and pushing so hard against Jon’s legs that she could have knocked him over if her were not holding onto the door! I had to put a leash on her and literally drag her out the door!! As soon as I let her back in she went right back to her bed. Usually she goes wild until I give her a treat, then she wolfs down food and water before retreating back to her bed, but today she went right back to it and laid back down and gave me the dirtiest look imaginable. When the weather is like this I get tempted to put down puppy pads and not even make them go out. But that’s really gross and we have worked so hard at potty training her!

At least we don't live in Bismark, North Dakota. I read on CNN.com this morning that it was -44 without wind chill factor. I would have to get Peanut some heavier boots!

Grab a Kleenex!

I just go this poem in an email from my Aunt Mary. It made me think of my Grandpa who passed away in October 2007. I am still sniffling and wiping away the tears...

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte, Nebraska, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value .Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St . Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet...

Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? ... What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . . . . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . . . . . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . . you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . . . . who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty. my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . . that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . . . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, Babies play ' round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . .. . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . . . . and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age. . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . . . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . . . . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . . . . open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer . . . . see . . . . . . . ME!!

Something to bitch about...

Okay, I am probably going to hear a lot of crap for posting something like this...but I really don't care. It's no secret that I am NOT an Obama supporter. But, my personal feeling for the man that will soon take over the responsibility of running our country has no direct effect on the about to be mentioned opinion...

IS MICHELLE OBAMA THE UGLIEST FIRST LADY WE HAVE EVER HAD OR WHAT?!?!?

All though campaigning and elections I couldn't even stand to look at the woman. I am sue she's a decent person and everything, but whatever. I mean...BARF!! Maybe it's just the bitchy mood I have been in all day from lack of sleep and coffee, but I came across a picture of her on people.com and my mind just became all-consumed with how ugly she is.

On a happier note...
Check out the WORLD'S CUTEST...AND FUNNIEST...BABY, Summer Marie Haverstock.

This was Jeannie and Justin's Christmas card this year. I had to wipe tears away from my eyes after opening it from laughing...and for being OVERJOYED at the fact that Jeannie finally got what she has always wanted. I am beyond ecstatic for them!

It's nearly time to go home from work. Thank GOD!! Let's hope that I am in a better mood tomorrow and the notion will strike me to blog about something not so petty and ignorant.

I have been disturbed!

I got the following in an email from my Aunt Rosemary:

Hi everyone,
Our neighbor has a puppy he's giving away (FREE). It's a Dachshund, it's house broken, and it's great with kids. He's giving it away because his wife says the dog 'stares' at her when she is undressing, and that gives her the heebie jeebies. I think she is just weird!If you're interested, or know someone who is, let me know.
Thanks! Here's a picture of the dog (see below).


As many of you probably know, I have a a miniature daschund. He would love to have another wiener dog to play with...especially if I got that wiener dog for free! So here I am, sitting at my desk reading this getting ready to call Jake and tell him all about it...and then I scroll down and see the picture! **GASP** It gave me the creeps!

Moving on...I also got the following picture from my Aunt Rosemary as well...it was called a smile from Heaven. It sure made me smile and I couldn't help but pass this one along.