I have quit smoking. Successfully so far. I stopped taking my Chantix because I wanted to sleep peacefully again, as I have previously mentioned. For the most part all of the cravings have gone away, except first thing in the morning, and i'm starting to think that that's one that may always be there.
It's Friday and it's sticky and gross and hot and there is nothing better that I can think to do but to sit on the porch with my little dog and drink a beer. There's just one problem with that...drinking a beer will make me want to light up. And if I drink a beer then Jake will have a rum and coke and then he'll want a cigarette too. Jake was way less will power than myself and I doubt that wild horses would keep him away from buying a pack of cigarettes after even just one quick visit with Captain Morgan.
In my infinite boredom and becasue I love quotes, I decided to Google quotes about alcohol, just to see what I would get...check out some of them below!
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry (...I am going to have to disagree with this one. Anyone who;s anyone when it comes to beer will more than likely agree with me when I say that the refrigerator is the greatest invention and beer is the second best. I may be Irish, but I will NEVER be able to stomach a warm Guiness!)
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the s lowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS
*The consumption may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
*The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and/or better looking than other people.
*The consumption of alcohol may cause you to believe that people are laughing WITH you.
*The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you can sing.
*The consumption of alcohol can, and has been know, to cause pregnancy. (Just a quick side note...Don't share this one with April or she will never drink again! LOL!!)
*The consumption of alcohol may be a major facor in dancing like a retard.
*The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
*The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think that you can talk to members of the opposite sex without spitting.
*The consumption of alcohol may cause you to believe that you are whispering when you really are not.
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